Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNgVQZ1X6_w
I have fucking made a mistake, fortunately now I get to accept it, to be embarrassed about it, to assume that it happened, I get to feel dumb and lost, I get to be responsible, the responsibility: that is the loneliest place in the world.
We all would like our mistakes to disappear, the flawless peace of perfection, the reassurance of having everything done right.
I have made a big mistake, the same mistake hundreds of times probably, and now it has left an enormous bloodstain in my life, nothing looks so clean anymore.
I am who I am, and now I get to carry my mistake, either as a heavy condemnation or as a beautiful scar that makes me realize how much everything is in my power.
My mistake, my beautiful golden mistake, you define me, you have possessed me in many ways, I have been the slave of fear because of you, my precious mistake.
And now it gets me, I didn't even know you were there, how much you controlled my life, how everything seems to get better when I used you.
I have made My mistake so many times because that same mistake used to protect me in the past, and now, it is useless.
All this time, doing it all over again,it's almost funny in a cynical way.
But if I could start over again, start from the beginning: I would definitely do the same mistakes, it has been a long path, a path full of flowers and butterflies.
I don't care how much it hurts, I have been happy, I have been meaningful, I have fucked everything up but always believing in love, in beauty, in peace and in honor.
How much regret, the regret is a beautiful feeling, regret is forgiveness.
I get to forgive myself, my regret makes me stronger, not because I can change the past but because it makes me realize how much I can change the future.
