Ok Coopid and the online romantic endeavours

Let me be your fantasy, you ecstasy and your hope, I will be the perfect girl for you, want blonde? I can do that, want smart?: don't even ask, want dumb: well i was expecting that ..

Come and check the catalog where you will find me, i'm on the first pages and have detailed illustration of what you'll be buying if you have an uncomfortable date with me and we both pretend we are not just two desperate strangers searching for love.

I have all this media to prove I am real, I have invented this character of myself, my Facebook says I am a super successful happy human being and I have friends who make funny jokes that only “we” understand.

Come and check everything I eat on Instagram, I even have some deep quotes about how positive and mellow i am about life, and look how pretty everything around me is, there is no hunger, no racism, no poverty or wars, #Instaperfect world

Ask me what I do for a living, I have to talk about my job, because nobody else does anything else for a living, living=job.

Who am I as a person doesn't matter cause all I can give belongs to this profanity of capitalistic world that makes us take life roles and believe we are successful.

Send me a smiley with a kiss, get romantic with me on text, we both know you are scared to death of intimacy on real life but hey, let's give this app an opportunity, you can hide your cowardice to have real relationships behind a cool guy attitude, I can hide my forever broken heart with a little emoticon.

Lets be “not dating” cause oh my god that’s too much of a commitment, let's not be anything, not even two people who want to fuck, because even that would imply some kind of obligation and lord forgive i may get attached to you, cause of course I am a woman, and women only want love and men only want sex. (That's it, there goes the explanation of centuries of male/female interaction that could have existed )

I am gonna go to that first date with my usual dialogue, as you will, and if we don't like each other (who would have guessed, on the internet we were perfect for each other!) we’ll look at our telephones rather than accepting how dumb and how full of shit we were creating that over sugar coated profile.

We can both pretend that we are both well adapted human beings who love being always positive, always mature about relationships (or always coward dare I say), then make me wait for your texts and answers on whatsapp as if I was some kind of dog dying of hunger waiting for a fucking bone you throw at me every so many hours.

Make a sum up of our first date, and pretend you are not so interested in having sex. Sex being this lame impersonal piece of shit of you moaning at my ass while grabbing me and coming before you even touched my breasts, so so sad, I felt like a fleshlight for a moment there (you looked more like a horny dog against a leg), but hey, doesn't matter, what wouldn't an #instagirl do for love, and imagine all my girlfriends screaming when I tell them the success story of us finally having sex

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And If I like sex, tell me I am a whore, cause only whores like sex (and even dare to ask for orgasms!), and if I tell you EXACTLY what I want then cry like a child cause “i am too much”, for a woman is supposed to be quiet and subtle in her feminine signs of liking you not to emasculate your small penis that you call your pride.

Oh such a Romantic place we are on now and what a time to be alive!