The last I've got of happiness left

The way I long for you..

People seem to think whatever you wish with all your heart you can get, I used to believe that whenever you want something the whole universe conspires for you to get it.

Now I know that is not true.

It is not true because you are not by my side, and the whole universe knows that sometimes it is all i want, to be in your arms. When I want it I want it with all my heart.

Cause the way I long for you is probably in one of the purest ways that a human being can wish for something, every night when I am under the weather i put my head in my pillow and wish with all my strenght, and sometimes say it in loud voice: please please let me dream of you tonight.

The fact that my brain can still dream of you is one of my biggest consolations for being alive, I can still be happy somewhere, maybe in another universe, far from it all, but I can.

In my dreams you hug me and you kiss my forehead, your big eyes look at me with all the forgiveness I deserve and can never get, your big hands hold me against your chest.

Every part of my skin feels alive when you touch it, just like it was when in real life.

You smile, and when you smile the whole sky becomes pink because it blossoms.

And whenever or wherever we are I just feel safe, I just feel like a reserved place of peace is given to me with your open arms.

I remember your hair on your forehead, I remember your smell, I am reminded of so much beauty and so much kindness.

I remember our conversations, I remember how you made me smile all the time, I remember your will to help everyone in the world. I feel surrounded by a tenderness and a sensation of being lucky beyond words.

Please please let me dream with you tonight, please, I could be so happy

My life is a never stopping everyday hell lately, it is OK cause I decided that hell is better than nothing, but in my dreams, in my dreams I can be in your arms, and I am so thankful, so fucking thankful I ever got to be with you, even if it was the smallest amount of time, you made me happier than I have been in more than 10 years, I am so thankful for you.

I am so thankful that I get to long for you.

I hope tonight I see you again, my last true happiness, the last worthy peace of my life.