About making mistakes in life

You can either see mistakes as two different things, either they're (the past) something you fucked up, or they are the future and then they become lessons to be used later.

But who am I to refuse lessons? when life so generously gives them in hand, go finding things that never belonged to me, and then, they're suddenly gone, well look at that.

Again.. (my own brain snickers as I say this)

Such a beautiful pain of knowing exactly where was the thing that i broke, where was I that I fell in the shit puddle, and where exactly I consciously took that decision to step in, cause my heart knows no better, and I never wanted to be one to impose myself shit “i should feel or not”

Maybe that's my problem and my blessing in disguise, instead of teaching things to my heart and acting with my brain (like most people who try to control their feelings all the time) I often try to learn the lessons from my own heart, the innate lessons that come from deep love and an existence.

The irony being of course that my own existence is of course a mistake, a guilty mistake of a catholic couple.

But back to the main subject, so..

I fell on my face, over again, this is what I do, and I don't even bother to look away in pain, for if I ever fall let me taste the floor fully, let me, because again this is my life, this is my fall, this is all I am, my will to own my own life.

So yeah I fucked up, and as the majority of my mistakes it comes from the pure belief of an innocent childlike soul who still believes in true love, rainbows and good will everywhere, this belief is so universal and beautiful that my mistakes end up tasting just like sweet candies.

It is my own present to myself to learn from failure

How can I? How can I not like it?

So long in my life I tried running from them, from my mistakes, trying so hard to be perfect, to be loved, to be invincible, then I notice I was trying all that because I didn't believe it was me who could deserve.

And then I stopped trying, I just decided to be perfectly myself.

And that perfectly myself has sweet ass mistakes, and a heart that never gave up, and a soul who even after all the pain and living my worst nightmares on flesh, a soul, that never ceased to believe that everything is still wonderful.

So yeah, bring those mistakes heart, I will savour them, I’m wise enough to do it.

Marlin