The momentum in the relationship..

“I don't wanna lose the momentum in the relationship” says a guy in the TV, the phrase sounds deep on me.

Time has always been a mystery for me in life, for we talk about a concept that basically exists in our brain to give continuity to things and to give us certainty that we are here: now.

What makes a moment the right moment? Is there such a thing like a magic fairy of the moments that sprinkles this “now moment” with something that makes it shiny and valuable?

Aren't we living the wrong way trying to chase timing and momentum in life ? I mean aren't we missing the main thing happening in front of us because of searching for that perfect moment? Isn't this fucking clear to everyone? Then why do we dumbly restart waiting for things over and over again?

The whole “now” is underrated if you ask me, and while some of you keep talking about who you are as a person or why are you a vegetarian (again), we should be here watching the beautiful color blue of the cup, enjoying the subtle sugar flavor in fried onions, or maybe just the fact that we are in a warm luminous place (completely built by other humans) as a snowstorm is happening outside.

Are all of our perfect moments just bullshit? I mean imagine, try to think about a perfect moment:

What came to your mind?

Because I am almost sure you imagined a perfect world where everyone loves you and smells pretty, and flowers, maybe like shinny and beautiful things around, the beach, a first kiss, being rich?

Does some of that comes from Hollywood, from the magazines or the publicity?

Is that really yours?

Is any moment in time really ours?

Sometimes I feel in a life long tunnel where I don't exist and I exist everywhere at the same time.

I don't wanna lose momentum in life, but, I think I already lost it a long time ago.

Even though I can certainly talk about  an almost “perfect moment”, for example when I finally climbed on the top of a mountain and “light my fire” of the Rolling Stones epically came in the shuffle of my music, then I felt like a *rock-star superhero of a dark soul heartless crazy woman who came to be killed by the mountain and conquered THAT epic monster.*

Song here

Anyway, lots of times in my life I felt time was actually mine, even in deep sadness, but I don't think I ever got that “momentum” and I don't think I would want that kind of pressure never for any part of my life, it just all sounds so "prefabricated" and claustrophobic to me.